I Miss Mummy Page 5

  ‘It’s all right, love.’ I held her close.

  Alice’s account had a nasty ring of truth and I was almost convinced she was telling me the truth,. Almost, for I couldn’t believe a mother would sleep out in the open for three nights when the temperature had been down to two degrees centigrade, as it had for the last few nights. Was it possible Alice had seen something similar on television? Or maybe someone had put her up to saying this, although I couldn’t imagine who or why.

  ‘You must have been very brave,’ I said. ‘It’s not right for a child to stay out all night.’

  ‘I had my coat on and Mummy cuddled me,’ Alice said, almost defending her mother. I remembered the dried mud I’d seen on Alice’s otherwise new, clean coat.

  ‘Still, it’s not right and you won’t ever be sleeping outside again,’ I reassured her, as this was not necessarily obvious to Alice if she’d done so for three nights. ‘Alice, do you know where it was you slept for those nights?’ I was guessing she wouldn’t know, but she nodded.

  ‘In the hide at the quarry,’ she said clearly.

  I felt my heart lurch. I knew exactly where she meant. A couple of miles away there is a disused quarry which, some years before, had been filled with water and turned into a nature reserve. Anglers, with a permit, were allowed to fish in it during the day, and part of the surrounding land had been made into a bird sanctuary with a hide for watching the birds. The hide was no more than a wooden shack with small openings in one side, through which you could observe the birds. While it had a roof on it, the cold wind ripped through the observation slits and there was no door. I’d taken the children up there one bright spring morning the year before to watch the birds nesting and it had been cold even then. However, while all this was true – there was a quarry with a hide – I also knew that since vandals had got in and terrorized the nesting birds the area had been patrolled by security at night.

  I looked at Alice and wondered: could she have made it all up? Would a mother really take her child up to that cold, remote spot to sleep for three nights? I supposed she might if she was unstable, or desperate, or both. Then, as though hearing my doubts, Alice looked up at me and said, ‘We lay on the benches in the hide, but I couldn’t sleep. The benches were too hard. And when the man came with his torch, we had to lie on the floor, under the benches, and keep very still until he went away.’ At that point I knew Alice was telling the truth, for there was no other way she could have known and described in such detail the night security patrol unless she’d been there at night.

  Chapter Seven

  Accused

  ‘Snatched from her nana! On the run for four days, and three nights sleeping at the quarry! It’s a wonder she’s not more traumatized than she is,’ I said. ‘Alice is quiet, but not obviously disturbed.’

  ‘It might come out later,’ Jill warned. ‘The poor child must have been petrified. But you say she’s been well cared for?’

  ‘She appears to have been. She hasn’t got any of her own possessions with her, but what she was wearing was new and clean. Her hair has been well looked after and she seems very bright, although naturally she’s still wary of us. When Alice talks she has a wide vocabulary and she’s very polite. The grandparents’ influence, I expect.’ It was 9.45 a.m. on Monday and Jill, my link worker from the fostering agency, had phoned for an update. I’d been doing most of the talking.

  ‘Martha should be in touch soon,’ Jill said. ‘I haven’t had any more information. Have you?’

  ‘No. The duty social worker who placed Alice didn’t have the paperwork. I guess Martha will bring the essential information forms when she visits.’

  ‘I’ll phone her when we’ve finished and remind her. If possible I’d like to be there when Martha visits to check and sign the placement forms.’ Jill paused. ‘Cathy, the duty social worker who placed Alice?’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Was there a problem?’

  ‘What do you mean, “problem?” He was a bit rude on the phone. I think he was stressed. He said he was the only one on duty on Sunday night for the whole of the area.’

  Jill paused again, as though uneasy about what she had to say. ‘Unfortunately, Cathy, he’s put in a complaint about you.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I’m sorry, but apparently the police were concerned that Alice was left at the police station for so long before she was collected. They complained to the social services manager, who contacted the duty social worker through his agency. He said the delay was because you refused to take Alice straightaway.’

  ‘What!’ I exclaimed again. ‘You must be joking! That’s not true. I even offered to collect Alice from the police station.’ Alice, who was sitting at the coffee table a little way in front of me doing a jigsaw, looked up on hearing her name. ‘It’s all right, love,’ I reassured her; then I lowered my voice as I spoke again to Jill on the phone. ‘He was the one who delayed collecting her, not me.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Cathy, but I’m going to have to ask you for some details. The manager wants a full report. I’ve already told him you are one of our longest-serving foster carers and that you’ve never had a complaint made against you before.’

  ‘Thanks,’ I said, tightly, glancing at Alice again. Little wonder there was a shortage of foster carers, I thought, with an annual drop-out rate of over 10 per cent, if we were treated like this!

  ‘Let’s start at the beginning,’ Jill said. ‘Go slowly, because I’m taking notes. I understand you were out when the duty social worker first phoned?’

  ‘Yes. I’d been waiting for Alice to arrive since Thursday evening and hadn’t heard a thing,’ I said, forcing myself to speak slowly. ‘So on Sunday afternoon we all went to a friend’s birthday party. I had my mobile with me but no one phoned.’ I paused to allow Jill to write. ‘When we got home, it was about half past nine and there were four messages on the answerphone from the duty social worker. I remember the first was left at eight thirty and I think the last was about nine fifteen, and he was quite rude. I phoned him back straightaway and asked why he hadn’t phoned my mobile.’

  ‘Hold on a minute,’ Jill said. I waited as she wrote. Alice looked at me again, and I raised a smile. I wasn’t happy going through all this in front of her, but I couldn’t do anything else. Jill needed this information now and Alice wasn’t confident enough yet to be left in a room by herself. ‘Right,’ Jill said after a few moments. ‘What happened then? Why didn’t he phone your mobile?’

  ‘He said he didn’t have my number.’

  ‘That’s not true,’ Jill said. ‘It was included in your details, sent to his agency.’

  ‘Yes, he found it when he looked further, but said it wasn’t obvious.’

  Jill tutted. ‘I’ll check, but I’m sure it is included on the front page. Then what happened?’

  ‘He told me Alice had been found, and was at the police station. He said he’d collect her as soon as he could but it wouldn’t be straightaway as he was the only one on duty. He was obviously stretched to the limit, so I offered to collect Alice myself, but he said it needed to be a social worker. He was pretty short tempered on the phone, but by the time he arrived with Alice he seemed to have calmed down and was just a bit terse.’

  ‘And what time was that?’

  ‘About half past ten.’

  Jill paused again and I heard her sigh. ‘I can see why the police were concerned. Alice was taken to the police station just before eight. The police informed the duty social worker at eight fifteen, but Alice wasn’t collected until ten. The poor child was at the station for over two hours.’

  ‘Jill, if I’d had any idea Alice had been found I’d have left the party immediately and gone straight home. Of course I wouldn’t leave a child sitting at the police station, but I’m not clairvoyant. If the duty social worker had phoned my mobile when he first knew Alice had been found at eight fifteen, I could have been home by the time he’d collected her from the station; we were only twenty minutes away.
’ I felt hot and shaky – a mixture of anger and upset. Alice shouldn’t have been left all that time at the police station, and although I was angry that the duty social worker was blaming me, I was also thinking I shouldn’t have gone to the party, for it was my absence that had caused all this.

  ‘It’s not your fault,’ Jill said. ‘You acted properly. You had your mobile with you and switched on. Even though you were on standby to receive Alice it didn’t mean you had to stay in the whole time; you just had to be contactable and within easy reach, which you were. I think the duty social worker is trying to cover up for his mistake. He didn’t see your mobile number and now he is blaming you.’ I didn’t say anything. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll put what you have told me in my report,’ Jill said. ‘I’m sure it will be fine.’

  I mumbled my agreement, but I was far from reassured. Jill apologized again for having to question me, and said that as soon as she’d spoken to the social services manager, she’d phone Martha and find out when she was planning to visit.

  We said goodbye and, replacing the receiver, I remained on the sofa for some moments, deep in thought. I loved fostering, even with all the meetings, training and paperwork, but I really didn’t need the worry of being investigated. I knew how long these investigations could take, and how ‘mud could stick’ once thrown. And while the allegation levelled against me was comparatively minor, and I knew it was in Jill’s capable hands, I still felt pretty bad. It had undermined my professionalism as a foster carer, which I take very seriously, as well as bringing into doubt my own personal integrity.

  But I also knew that what I was being accused of, while hurtful and damaging to my reputation, was minor compared to the allegations made against some carers. During their careers approximately 35 per cent of foster carers will be accused of some misdemeanour, and if a child is angry, or a parent is angry that their child is in care, they can make up the most appalling allegations, which can sometimes result in a police investigation.

  Leaving the sofa, I joined Alice at the coffee table and, putting aside my own worries, praised her. She had just completed a complicated jigsaw, aimed at ages five to eight, without any help whatsoever.

  ‘Who taught you to do jigsaw puzzles?’ I asked, impressed.

  ‘My mummy and grandpa,’ she said. ‘They played with me lots. And my nana. Will you let me see them soon, please?’

  ‘Oh, love,’ I said, taking one of her little hands in mine. ‘It’s not my decision when you see your family. Let me try to explain.’ Although I had touched on my role when Alice had first arrived, I thought that now she was more relaxed it might be easier for her to understand. ‘I am a foster carer,’ I said, gently. ‘I look after children when they can’t live with their own mummies, daddies or grandparents. I look after children but I don’t make the decisions about where they live or when they can see their families. The social worker and judge make those decisions and I am sure they will say you can see your family soon.’ I smiled. ‘Do you know what a judge is?’

  Surprisingly, Alice nodded. ‘The judge tells people what to do,’ she said, ‘and he made my nana cry. I didn’t see him, not like the social worker – I saw her. But the judge and social worker made my nana cry because they said I had to leave Nana and come here.’

  I nodded thoughtfully. Alice’s explanation might not be politically correct but it was honest – a child’s-eye view of being brought into care.

  ‘Why did they do that, Cathy?’ Alice asked, her eyes widening in disbelief. ‘Why did the judge and Martha make me go away from my nana and grandpa? Why are they being horrid to my mummy?’

  I looked at her and my heart twisted. This was going to be difficult to explain. ‘They aren’t being horrid, darling,’ I said, gently rubbing her hand between mine, ‘although it might seem like it. The judge and social worker are doing what they think is best for you at present. And they think it is best for you to come and stay with me for a while.’ Had Alice been abused or neglected it would have been easier to explain: I would have had concrete examples as to why she’d been brought into care, and indeed some children who have suffered badly at home are relieved to be in care. As it was, all I had was the original referral, which said Alice’s mother, Leah, had mental health problems exacerbated by using illegal substances, and Alice’s grandparents had been looking after Alice. There was no suggestion that her mother or (heaven forbid) her grandparents had abused Alice.

  ‘I’ll find out more when I speak to your social worker today,’ I said, trying to reassure Alice as best I could. ‘You’re being very brave.’ I patted her hand and then gave her a hug. ‘Would you like to do another puzzle or play something different?’

  ‘Another jigsaw, please,’ she said. ‘I like jigsaw puzzles. Mummy used to play with me lots.’ I fetched another couple of puzzles from the toy cupboard and sat with Alice while she completed them. As she worked she talked easily of her mummy, nana and grandpa, mainly describing happy memories of their time together but also expressing anxious thoughts as to where they were now, and if they were upset. I continued to reassure her as best I could, telling her that Nana, Grandpa and Mummy would all be looking after each other. I noticed Alice hadn’t mentioned her dad. The referral contained the name, but no other details, of Alice’s father, Chris, so I assumed Alice had been brought up by her mother and maternal grandparents. Alice didn’t say any more about the four days and three nights she had been missing with her mother and I didn’t ask her. She would tell me in time, as she felt more relaxed.

  As I played with Alice I was waiting, hoping, for the social worker to phone with, among other things, the arrangements for Alice to see her family. When a child first comes into care, contact is usually set up immediately – often the same day or certainly the next day, so that the bond between the child and the parents (or whoever the main carer has been) doesn’t suffer. But when Martha phoned an hour later, I was shocked, and at a complete loss to understand the reasoning behind what she told me.

  ‘There will be no contact with mum,’ she said. ‘And none is planned for the future. Contact with the grandparents will be for one hour every two weeks, supervised at the family centre. Contact with Alice’s father will be twice a week, increasing to include overnights, until Alice goes to live with him next month.’

  Chapter Eight

  When Can I See My Mummy?

  ‘The first contact with dad and his new wife, Sharon, will be tomorrow,’ Martha, Alice’s social worker, continued. ‘At the family centre, from two to four p.m. Contact is being supervised at present, but only for the time being. Alice will be at nursery, so you will need to collect her early on the days she has contact. I’ll give you the other details when I see you later today. I’ll also try to get some of Alice’s clothes and toys from the grandparents. I assume you’re in all afternoon?’

  ‘I can be. I thought I might take Alice to the park for a while, as it’s a nice day. Do you know roughly what time you’ll be coming?’

  ‘No,’ Martha said. ‘I’ve got a lot to deal with here first. This case has taken over, with the abduction and the police being involved. Your link worker told me what Alice said about sleeping at the quarry. Thank God Leah didn’t do anything silly. Although any chance she might have had of having Alice returned to her has now gone.’

  ‘Has it really?’ I asked. ‘Alice seems to have a very strong bond with her mother. She has lots of happy memories. And Leah seems to have done a good job of parenting Alice in the past. How did it all go so badly wrong?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Martha said. ‘I’ve only been on the case two weeks, but I know enough to know that the sooner Alice is settled with her father the better. I’ll see you later. I expect it will be after four.’

  ‘Could you bring the essential information forms with you, please?’ I asked quickly before she finished. ‘And a copy of the care plan.’

  ‘Unfortunately not. I told your link worker that our computer is down. I’ll tell you what you need to know when I
see you, and the rest will follow. How is Alice after her ordeal?’

  ‘Coping very well, considering…’

  ‘Good. Say hello to her from me. See you later. Bye.’

  I replaced the receiver and went down the hall. I had answered the phone in the sitting room, but when I’d realized it was the social worker, I’d told Alice I’d be just down the hall if she needed me – I didn’t want to keep talking about her in front of her. Now I returned to the sitting room, thinking about the contact arrangements, which seemed at odds with Alice’s needs. From what Alice had been saying all morning she appeared to have a strong attachment to her mother, whom she wouldn’t be seeing, a strong attachment to her grandparents, whom she would be seeing for only one hour every two weeks, and no attachment to her father whom, with his new wife, Alice would be seeing twice a week and with whom she would be going to live within a month. Knowing very little of Alice’s background, I could only assume I’d misinterpreted what Alice had been telling me, and that there were sound reasons for the decisions that had been made.

  Alice looked up from the toy box as I entered, and I smiled. ‘That was Martha, your social worker,’ I said. ‘She’s coming to visit us this afternoon.’

  ‘When can I see my mummy?’ Alice asked, aware Martha was responsible for when she saw her.

  ‘I’m not sure,’ I hedged. It wasn’t my position to tell Alice she wouldn’t be seeing her mother; that was the responsibility of her social worker, who should have built up a relationship with Alice and, with the details of Alice’s background, could explain to her why she wouldn’t be seeing her mother and answer her questions. ‘But you will be seeing your dad and Sharon tomorrow,’ I added.

  ‘And Nana and Grandpa?’ Alice asked. ‘When can I see them?’

  ‘We’ll ask Martha when we see her this afternoon. But you will be seeing them before too long.’ That was all I could say, but even then, knowing so little, I instinctively felt uncomfortable that Alice was not seeing her mother, and very little of her grandparents, when they had been her main carers. Alice was clearly very close to them and was missing them badly.